Spiritualism vs Religiousness

Spiritualism to me explains so much of the questions that religious teachings left a hole. I had a few questions about religious issues be in Buddhism or in Islam that no one could answer. In the past, not being able to answer these questions, I was forced to accept the teachings in a half hearted manner. It was hard for me. I wanted to know and was curious to know what the religious point of view was, but somehow no matter how hard I searched for an answer, it did not satisfy me. I felt a lack and deep inside felt that religion could not answer it. I was told to have faith but the voice inside of me asked "How can you have faith when you don't know what is it you are having faith in ??"

New age or spiritualism opened up a new door for me and all of my questions could be answered. Finally I could bridge the gap between mysticism, science and religion, all subjects close to my heart. "Why do some children have to die young and suffer","If bomoh's are using Islamic incantations then are they practicing the word of god","If god is good, why does god allow bad things to happen in the world" are all questions that I could answer now and I am happy and inspired. I have reconnected with my source. A force or God which I have always been close to as a child feeling it's warmth and comfort. I nearly lost that as I was growing up swayed by the good judgments of those around me. New age beliefs allowed me to see the bridge between my other childhood beliefs such as astrology, chinese facial astrology and conventional religion. I saw a lot of things differently and found the answers to my of my questions. For those who think that spiritualism will cause you to be less religious, it actually strengthen my belief in God. I felt the closeness I felt to God back when I was just a child. How could I not? God is after all a part of us.

The concept of fairness

Today is a break through day for me. In technical techno babble, I have received and installed my latest round of patches. Today's patch has something to do with the concept of fairness. In my family there is only the two of us, that is my sister and me. From the time I was very young, my mom would drill into us the concept of fairness being very important in our daily affairs. I thought I understood this concept, until recently when I ran into conflict with my mom. I used to think that fairness means same or in terms of material things, something that I have my sister has to have something similar. This concept that I had in my noggin' recently ran into a bit of challenge when I noticed that my mom treated both of us differently. My mom would be very sensitive to all of my sister's needs to the point of feeling scared to leave the house least my sister woke up and found no one around. I felt angry and a bit irritated as I felt that my mom did not practice what she preached. I thought she was a bit of a hypocrite saying something but doing something else.

However, today I allowed the wisdom of the universe to flow through and I realized something. Fairness in my mom's eyes was giving us each exactly what we need for us to be close as a family. In my case I have always been very open and receptive, so I was easier to talk to. My sister speaks a different language emotionally and my mom had to bend certain so called "rules" to accommodate for her. While in the past I felt that this "accommodation" process is double standard treatment, now I see it as the universe way of being "fair". We are all given what we need, and one needs to delve a bit deeper beyond to see "fairness".

A lot of people still have hang ups about this kind of thing especially siblings as they usually feel they are in competition for attention from the day the universe put them in the role of siblings. With this new knowledge, I see all of this "problems" in a new light and I would like to project this knowing to all the other siblings or people that might need it.