Miss Quek

Today during my ride home a yellow faded sign with the words "Quek and Co." caught my attention. My memories got transported to time when I was in standard 3 in St. Thomas primary school. There is an incident that happened to me during my younger days that has always stuck with me.

Miss Quek is my class teacher during my 3 year in primary school. She is a stocky lady with a round face and sharp eye brows and boomy voice. She would be what many would consider the stereotypical dragon lady type. One day there was a few education auditors that was coming to visit our class. Before the auditors came she "prepped" us up by telling all of us to hold up our hands during any of the Question and Answer session to give an overall impression of good interactive participation from the class. During those days, we would be what you call a rebellious lot often giving her a hard time. What was surprising during that day is that all of us participated and gave her version of "good" participation. I still remembered we were promised rewards of stamps from her private collection if we obeyed.

What struck me was that after the class, the auditors took her aside and gave her a few words. From the back of the class I could make out that Miss Quek was trying to hold back some tears as the auditors talked to her. That moment of tenderness from this woman that all of us considered the iron dragon lady stuck with me and till this day I do not know what transpired between the auditor and her that day. After the whole episode she dismissed us with few words and nothing else was spoken of it. Out of all my memories from my younger day this particular memory has stuck with me most vividly. It's almost like yesterday I am the young boy at the back of the class wondering why my teacher was trying to hold back her tears.

Chinese face theories and vibes

Through my observations I found that there is a link between chinese facial theories and the study of vibes. I found this by looking at people who have had high levels of stress in their lives. They usually have something about their facial features that is a bit out of sync too. This is the place where ancient chinese theories about recognizing a person's behavior or character using their facial features. Eyebrows that meat is a sign of close minds. A high brow means an intelligent mind .. those kind of things.

Your inner feelings or vibes will manifest itself on your face. I learned the hard way that how good you look on a day will influence who you meet and how good your dealings will be on that day. It's hard for me initially who wanted to move away from being judge outwardly and felt that people should not look at the exterior but judge a person what is like inside. However, if you accept the fact that your outer shell or looks is a representation of your inner self then judging a person by their looks might not be so stupid as hithero thought.

What I think is, Chinese philosophers learned the skill of facial reading using their superior mastery of vibes reading and recorded all the knowledge now which is now known as the Chinese Physiognomy - Face Reading. I found a nice blog which says a fair bit more about what I am trying to say here.

Do not own that

I found that more often than not the temper we are seeking so hard to control can just be controlled with the simple act of delaying a reaction to the stimulus. It's simple. Delay your feeling of reaction or injustice for a few minutes, slowly compose your smart come back. If you feel hurt or that anger sting become less sharp and blunt continue for a few more minutes longer without a reply. It's letting the hot air out of a balloon. It works everytime. If this doesn't work I find that quickly extracting yourself from the heated situation works wonders. Remember everyone of life's seemingly out-ta-get-ya moments are nothing more than oppotunities god or the universe gives us to let our best qualities shine through.

If you ask for patience, the universe or God delivers by putting you in situation where you can exercise your patience. Viewing it from this aspect allows you to always be on top of your day. Hold on to this and you will always be calm. If however, you are not ready, it's okay to just step away and come back at another time. It just means that we have to do some extra tuning to get ourselves ready for the situation. You are perfect. You are exactly the way you are meant to be. You just choose to extend and test yourself in new and uncomfortable situations. That is growing.

Getting yourself noticed : update update update

If woody allen once said that showing up is one half of success, then let me complete the saying ... "the other half is making sure people know you exist !". The incredelous among you might already be saying "Of course I exist ! People see me going in and out of the office daily and I attend all the meetings !!" Wrong Wrong wrong on all counts. In this fast moving and busy world you would be surprised how many times good even great people are overlooked for promotions, salary upgrades and other niceties over their seemingly less capable counterparts. This happens not because of favoritism but because bosses or higher don't even know they exist. I see this all the time among my fellow younger techies. Yes they are the ones hunched in the dark corner banging away on the key board thinking that if they complete their task quietly their bosses will sure appreciate their work and give them equal compensation. Worse still is that they don't even care if this happens ! Bottom line ... you are the greatest promoter for your own work or ability and you should never feel uncomfortable about shining the spot light on yourself once in a while. Why should you ? You are capable and smart and tooting your horn once in a while is a helathy boost for the self esteem.

What is the first step in promoting yourself and your work ? Update. What's the second step ? Update. The third is of course also update ! When you are working on a project assigned to you or your group, it is always in your best interest to update your boss or higher up about what you are doing. Believe me, sometimes they just plain don't know what you are doing ! Expecting your boss to know exactly what your contribution in your project by himself with his already busy schedule is not only plain stupid, it is egoistically stupid ! Your company's world does not revolve around you and leaving the knowledge of contribution to your project to Lady Luck will often leave you unnoticed and disappointed. The key here is to write an update report not to show your results but to show the effort that you put into your work. So if just spent the whole day scouring google without any luck or headway in trying to solve your problem, include that too ! Those stuff are essential in relaying to your management how much you care about your work and how much effort you put into it.

So this concludes the first three steps in getting yourself noticed in your work place. The next time I will go into creating a successful image of yourself at work, so stay tuned.

Garbage truck awareness

Came back today after a run and a garbage truck was behind me. It was noisy and i knew it was behind me. There was this old garbage truck that does it's rounds everytime when I finish my daily runs. The last part of the run I will turn around and run in reverse running backwards. Something struck me today an epiphany. That warm rush of feelings inside of me I have now know to be a moment of pure inspiration. I refused to look at it and just kept on going backwards and just kept on going backwards with the knowledge of the garbage truck behind me, looking at what is in front of me instead of what is ahead. Somehow it struck me how much that is like life. We can choose to look at the garbage truck or our own achievements and forge on ahead based on that. It was an exhilarating moment when I came to this realization.
Feel the fear, feel it smell it even but concentrate on your successes and do not it hold you back.A sense of freedom and ease came over me a powerful realization that I can solve any problem that presents itself and that the problem is my friend and something I can accept and change. The uncertainty, chaos and fear is like a dear friend which encourages you to go that extra mile in that tough marathon and will not give up on you when all others would not even look at you.

I am very thankful to Pappy for creating the storm for me to ride on. The storm helps me let go and leave things to the universe. It lets me practice the true essence of law of abundance and the other laws. Meeting up with Paul too help to solidify things I have learnt throughout this time. I am thankful for all the beautiful people that the universe has put my way.

Update: Saw this post and thought I would post it after all but with a twist. Your achievements and your failures are all the garbage truck in front of you. Most often than not it turns out to be the thing that holds you back. Giving you pain where you don't need it. Successes creates unnecessary anxiety while failures brings us down. If I can I would like to approach each of life's untaking without the burden (or the advantage?) of experience ...

The boiling point

People get afraid when the initial momentum of an effort suddenly slows down or suddenly goes quiet. Not me. This to me only means that the universe is trying to tell you either what you asked for, in this case trying to increase the size of my business is already in the current situation or it just means that the universe will provide more than you asked for you just need some preparations. I guess what I am trying to say here is that do not get discouraged when stuff slows down, it just means that you have to do some internal preparations or just need to brush up on a certain something before moving on to the next level. Plateau can be good because you know that you will be moving to the next level soon !

The good finder

Today let's look at good finders. This thought struck me today as I was pulling out the bike going on my daily jogging regiment. "If god were to hear our thoughts daily how bad we must all sound with the doom and the gloom !" The word good finder was definitely not created here. I read about it some years back in one of the self help books that I ploughed through.

A good finder is a person who chooses to finds the good side to events that occurs. If you choose to be a good finder then that puts you in 3% of the world population. That's how rare good finders are ! The world has enough of it's fair share of so-called normal or realistic people or just plain bad finders. People who for reasons only known to themselves just cannot see the good side to a situation. Phew ! Writing about them makes me feel a bit lethargic !

For example, if your boss emails you stating that the outline that you submitted needs some extra formatting work there are two ways to approach this situation. The traditional way would be to fret and grumble because of the extra work to be done. A good finder however will see that the good of the situation. "Alright ! This means that the contents of the document is okay !! Just a little easy peasy formatting work needed !"

People like good finders because they are so refreshing. Not only that they are happier in whatever they are doing or pursuing because they are constantly being enveloped by this invisible shield of happiness as they go about their daily chores. Also, to be totally accurate I don't think the word "chore" even exists in the good finder's dictionary. How can they achieve this ? Simple, bad vibes or views simply do not register on their radar. They cannot see it ! A totally bad situation can befall them and all they see is the good side. That has got to be the best blind condition in the world, being negative blind ! This mind you is not being naive, rather it's being proactive. You choose not to feed your negative vibes by feeling sorry, rather you do your best to preserve your vibes to make the best of the situation. Lemonade tastes damn good ! Imagine what kind of power you would exude when nothing can bother you and you walk around everywhere with this invisible shield of feel-goodness.

So .. go on try being a good finder tomorrow or heck right now and just watch your world turn around.

The note of appreciation

I have found a superb way to keep your vibes in tact during ... sub optimal conditions. It's very easy yet very effective and can be done anywhere. I call this the "note of appreciation" method. It's done like this. When a sub optimal situation presents itself and threatens to jeopardize your vibes, take out a piece of paper and pen and start writing down all the good things you can think of related to the situation, the situation can be related to a person or a thing. Start listing them out one by one. You will notice that initially it is really hard but it gets easier as you go along and you can just feel those negative vibes melt away. When you finally get to the last item on your list, you would have notice that your sub optimal feelings has been transformed to feelings of a warmer state for the person or thing.

The note of appreciation works because it forces the mind to concentrate on the positive side of the thing or person that is in your attention span. This worked to great effect for me when I faced problems with my relationship. She had to work late again and had no time we had to forgo our earlier appointment. What would have normally boiled over from the sub optimal feelings to a full blown argument in the past, turned into a practice of appreciating the other party. What a great way to salvage the evening ! I spent the better half of the evening thinking about her special qualities and how she complements me in so many ways that at the end of it my feelings for her was even warmer that before ! Great way to break out of a negative vibe situation ! What's more it would be a nice surprise for the other party, if you happen to show them the list !

I hear you saying there "But ! there is nothing good to write about !!". Yes I hear you and I know it's hard, but trust me if you dig deep enough and look you will there is a good thing to say about a situation no matter how un-ideal. If you other half has no time for you because of her work, when sub optimal feelings will tell you that she doesn't care about you, only her work matters and other things. This will only lead you to a downward spiral in terms of vibes. Stop it ! Writing something like "I appreciate because she allows me to have a lot of time to myself to build spiritual side". This forces the mind to look at the situation in a whole different light. Keep on doing this and you will notice that your thoughts now have changed from one of frustration and anger to that of compassion and calmness.

The most romantic gesture

Today I listened to Jim Rohn's 'Take Charge of your life' and something in there about the black widow caught my fancy. Jim mentioned how the act of the black widow eating her mate after the 'noble act' as 'interesting' while it seemed tragic to most people. Good observation Jim but for me it struck me as the the most the most romantic act in the animal kingdom. A selfless mate sacrificing even his own life for his other half. A bit of a morbid end but the thought of it is just so romantic to me.

A selfless act to serve another soul in that way can only be done by the most dedicated soul. You can get scientific on my ass and argue the point by saying that the male is actually bound and unable to move ... thanks but no thanks I would rather live in my romanticized version ....

My ideal other half - a thank you note.

Today something fabulous happened. I found out that Pappy actually opened up a lead for me ! I am very thankful she help me with my business even when she was running on blind faith ( which is is definitely more than what I would have done ).She started to talk to Najmi in which I followed through to bring into completion. What a team we make ! Feel so much warm fuzzies for her. Now thanks to her tomorrow we are going to close one of the bigger deals.

I am very thankful to have found an ideal partner in her. She has provided me the support all the way. She has given me the the time to work on my business while still keeping very close and warm contacts with me. Time away is fine when it's time so sweet :). Every day she calls I can hear the miss in her voice yet she keeps supporting me through my many projects. I thank all my lucky stars in the heavens I have found such a supportive and patient woman.

Everything about her just fits me so well, right from her uncanny ability to read my mind to the fact that all my friends just adore her. She carries herself well ! I thank you too that you already so advanced in your process of cleaning up and putting health first in your life now. Life is blissful !!

Pappy if you ever do see this this one is dedicated to you and I hope that lack of sleep and tiredness did not hinder what I have been trying to say here. I love you.

Your purpose

Funny, this post reminds me of one of my friend's custom message. This guy always has the custom message "What is your purpose ..?" on his ym. For a long time I did not know my purpose. Then when I heard about the laws of attraction, one night i sent my request up to the universe to find my purpose. A day later I knew, and more and more of the situations I am presented to daily made more sense to me. I was put here to help my fellow man. It's such a humbling and joyous feeling to know that I have been chosen for this role. For once I see direction ahead and know what I must prepare for that journey ahead of me. Thank you. This has been a long time coming but it's worth the wait.

The community hub

Have you ever wanted to be more popular ? Have you ever wanted to be more in the pulse of what is going on in your neighborhood ? People going depend on you to get stuff done. You are like the guy in shawshank redemption who "gets stuff". People look to you for advice and help. In the IT world you are like the central hub where information passes and you are essential to the structure of the network. If you aspire to be someone like this then what you are aspiring to be is a community hub.

It's great being a community hub. A community hub is a person which everyone goes to get things done or pass along a favor or two. It is also a great place to build credo and leverage. You have to start by being a "go to guy" for all things going on around you. Let's put it this way, as the "go to guy" no favor is too small. In life everybody has a need big or small. More often than not most of these favors do not even cost any money. In the past I use to see these favors as a burden or a waste of time especially if they are from people whom I seldom meet or who seldom contact me. I was in the old mentality. Now I see it for what it is ... a free ticket to be closer to another human soul. One step closer to them, in the seat of power to influence their decisions. Played right you will be elected their trusted advisor.

More often than not I see people making the mistake of not fulfilling the small favors to their friends or aquaintences. For them these are a burden and a waste of their time. For me I see it completely differently. See it as a free ticket into their lives, you get to help out another human being no matter how small the favor and it feels great ! The credo you build with these people are so great you will be in their thoughts most of the time.

The trick is to help genuinely from the heart. Like how an animal can smell fear, people have the innate ability to smell falseness or if you are not genuine. Provide the service with your best intentions and compassion and you will be rewarded in dividends in everyway.

The power of your tone

Had another good power evening with wai-sun and nicky. The interesting thing today is I experienced first hand the power of the tone of your voice. I had what I thought would be a poor evening with Pap on the phone when I switched and perked up my tone and everything just changed. She suddenly felt interested enough on how to use the laws of attraction to pull in a cisco switch she was waiting for. While this is not really the advertised use of the laws of attraction, the fact that she wanted to know about something I am dabbling in makes me feel so good. Moral of the story tonight ... tone of your voice could be the difference between success and failure and the other thing is it's very very hard to disguise tone especially with the complement half of yourself.

Tonight too I achieved a break through. I realised why Pap and me have been missing the magic we used to have last time. Well last time I was just more fun to be around. I did not use to be a pathetic whiney bitch ! Suddenly I realise what she must be feeling. She is hanging on hoping that the magic would return too ! She wants us to go back to where we were too ... but standing here in my place is this whiney miney moe ... Pap if you ever do get to read this blog, I see it from your eyes. You are trying to hold on as I am when suddenly I zombified on you. I am sorry. NO MORE WHINEY MINEY STUFF FROM ME. I AM BRINGING BACK THE MAGIC !! !WHINEY MINEY