There are no victims in this universe.

Sometimes in our quest to feel good we do get caught up in situation where our emotion is under threat to get some beating. A great example of this is a conversation which is slowly heating up. Normally for this kinds of cases to preserve my emotional set point I try a few methods.

1. If this person can be ignored then I will just ignore him/her and start distracting myself using the numerous methods such as visualization or meditation (counting breaths). This might not work if this is a conversation that is being carried on with a loved one that is demanding an answer from you.

2. Try to go to a different room or do something to diffuse the building bad vibe. Baths, going to another room or some house chores work fine for this. This might not work too if an immediate answer is demanded.

This post is to try to help those who cannot do the first two methods outlined above. Normally, if we are in the mindset of a victim or being wronged, we tend to be defensive and this kind of set point will not be beneficial to the situation. The most useful way for me is to take a deep breath no matter how hard, slow down your response and keeping in mind that there are no victims in this world. There are only co-creators. You are in the current situation you are in due partly to yourself. No one can force their manifestation on you. Keeping this in mind and responding would give you greater relief, no matter how hard the situation and this would put you in the best mental state to maintain or bring up your set point under any circumstance.

Being in mental state gives you composure and it puts you in mood of fixing or tweaking your response rather than trying to win the argument (which will happen because you are in a defensive mood).